Back in Febnruary of 2006, when Shaun and Cody were 6 and 4 (respectively), our little family experienced a very difficult time as we said goodbye to Kaylee, our foster daughter of three years. Kaylee had been with us since she was a month or so old and had become a major part of our family, so it was a difficult loss for us and we all struggled to get back to "normal." A few days after Kaylee left to go live with her birthdad and family in Arkansas, we took our boys to Disneyland, hoping to get some good bonding time in. I wrote this a few days after we got home. (I'm happy to report that Kaylee's family has kept in touch and she is doing great!)
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| Cody and Shaun |
Now
most people would be thinking about the physical toll of stress on their kids.
Our boys have had so much stress in their short lives, that we forget about
this most of the time. First mistake.
We
also have what we fondly call a “traveling curse.” Whenever we plan to go
somewhere, the car breaks down or gets wrecked or something happens that delays
us or keeps us from going or makes it really difficult to get there… Hotels
lose reservations, rental car agencies run out of cars, debit cards snap in
half… You name it. It’s happened to us. We forgot about the curse – even though
the van died the day before we left. We should have known better. Second
mistake.
But
we’re determined to have fun, dang it. We’ve had three years of hell and we
need some magic. So we go where they market magic. Disneyland.
We’re counting on the magic. For survival. Third mistake.
Day
One
We
head off early Thursday morning – so early it’s still dark. We pack up the
Jeep, install the DVD player for the boys, carefully put everything where it’s
most needed (movies, coloring books, snacks, water, juice – all within reach of
the boys). We drag the boys out of bed, dress their groggy bodies and put them
in the Jeep before they wake up all the way. We say goodbye to the dog and
leave. We stop for gas, pick up some “breakfast” (donuts and milk) and we are
on our way…
The
ride over is mostly uneventful. At lunch, neither boy really wants to eat but
this isn’t new to us. They don’t eat in public. For Cody, there’s too much
noise. For Shaun…well… while he’ll usually eat, sometimes he’s just too
distracted when we’re out. No alarms going off for us yet.
We
get to the hotel and we are too early. We can’t check in yet. (of course) So we
get the desk clerk to check our bags until we can come back. As Lee is
negotiating the details of getting to Disneyland
with the clerk (getting our passes and such), Shaun tells me he has to go to
the bathroom RIGHT NOW. So we find one -
which is a bit challenging as they are remodeling and there is construction stuff everywhere - and he is in there forever. Cody goes in. Lee goes in. I’m
still waiting. They all eventually come out and Lee tells me that Shaun has
“runny poops.” I figure it’s the donuts and he’ll be fine. We get ready to go
to the park. We catch the trolley and begin our journey into the Magic Kingdom.
Disneyland is amazing! Everything is clean, neat, magical! Shaun begs us to go on
Pirates of the Caribbean so we go. Cody
freaks out about the dark… We all love the rest of the ride, though and Lee and
I swear to each other that we are going to eat at that restaurant (the Blue
Bayou) before we leave. Shaun declares to us that Pirates is his most favorite ride in the whole world (a rating that would only be unseated by Space Mountain
on Day 4). Cody has to go potty now and when the menfolk emerge from the
bathroom, I am informed that both Shaun AND Cody now have “runny poops.” I am
frustrated but I live in denial and figure it will pass. It has to. We are in Disneyland for heaven’s sake. Who has runny poops in Disneyland? Surely the pixie dust fixes that, right?
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| Lee and Shaun in front of Shaun's favorite ride |
So
we decide to go on Splash Mountain
and as we take that 50 foot plunge and get soaked I hear Cody screaming behind
me (he’s freaked… what great parents we are) and I wonder if he has peed his
pants. I’ve brought extra underwear for both boys but mostly because of Cody’s
disorder. As the mother of a child who suffers with a sensory disorder, I have
learned to be prepared. Over stimulation causes him to pee his pants. Of all the
places in the world, I am figuring that Disneyland
is sure to overstimulate him at some point. I am glad that I have the extra
underwear in the backpack. I am a great mom!
We
ride some more rides and eat some more junk. Lee and I fall in love with Star Tours because we grew up on Star Wars and have always wanted to
“feel” that jump to hyperspace… To fly down that canyon and blow up the Death
Star… We are like little kids (I almost cry at the Star Wars music) and barely notice that our four year old is white
knuckling the seat and terrified. Apparently he is not so keen on the jump to
hyperspace.
We
head off back to the hotel after a few hours because we still need to check in
(and it’s somewhere around 5:00pm, I think). We check in and get all of our bags
(there is some discussion about this because we gave them three bags but they
gave us four claim checks… we get things straightened out okay when they
discover that they have put two checks on one bag). We head up to our room and
we walk down the newly repapered hallway that is heavily perfumed by wallpaper
glue, telling the boys to be careful because they haven’t put the bottom trim
back on and we don’t want them ripping up the wallpaper. The numbers aren’t on
the room doors, just bits of tape with the room number hastily written in black
marker. Not exactly “magical” but just fine with us. It has beds, a toilet and
a shower – and even a fridge and a microwave. We’re good with that.
The
room is great, the beds are comfy and the bathroom is huge. We all note how
cool the shower curtain is because it’s on one of those curved out rods so
there’s all this extra room in the shower. The kids think the TV is cool and
they love their bed. Lee and I are hungry so after the boys barely make it to
the bathroom again we head off to Bucco de Beppo for dinner. The boys are
exhausted as we wait for dinner to come and they fall asleep as it arrives. We become
crazy parents and as we get more and more frustrated with them our parenting
skills (and people skills) disintegrate. We threaten them and tell them to eat
their dinner or they’ll never get rid of the runny poops. We tell them that
they need “real food” or they will never feel better. Shaun eats a couple of
bites, Cody falls asleep anyway. We finish our dinner and head back to the
room. I nurse my very “unmotherly” thoughts of frustration that children seem
to always ruin everything special. I know full well I am not being fair (or
rational) but I am just “done.” Everyone crashes.
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| The boys asleep at dinner... which we handled like A+ parents. |
We wake up somewhere in the early hours of the morning to moaning…. Shaun is in the bathroom with the runny poops again. Lee gets up and helps him and we have him eat a Pepto tablet, hoping that will help. Cody is thrashing about, moaning that his tummy doesn’t feel good so Lee puts him on the potty and he has runny poops again, too. We try to get him to eat a Pepto tablet and he immediately ejects it as soon as he swallows it. Thankfully, Lee is fast with a trash can! Eventually we get them both settled - Shaun in bed with me, Lee in bed with Cody and we all sleep. We can’t wait to get back to the magic…
Day Two
We
awaken bright and early (not really so much, Lee is dragging himself out of bed
because he was up and down with the boys all night long in the bathroom –
somehow I managed to sleep through most of the drama). I chalk it up to the
fact that I’ve been living on borrowed sleep for months with the whole looming
crisis with my daughter and am now finally able to let go enough to sleep and
slip into a light coma. We wrangle the boys into their clothes (they’d much
prefer to just go naked) and head down to the complimentary breakfast bar.
Lee
and I quickly fill up our plates and get bowls of Fruit Loops for the boys.
(Fruit Loops is a well-established favorite of theirs.) We also get each child toast because that it
is good for people who have runny poops, right? Cody just stares at the food
and takes a few sips of milk. Shaun takes a few bites of the Fruit Loops and
announces to us that they taste weird. Lee and I realize that the problem is we
always buy the “fake” Fruit Loops and these are the “real” ones and they taste
a bit different from what he is used to. They also have 2% milk on them and
he’s used to whole milk. So, being the graceful and merciful parents that we
are, we tell him to eat his toast and drink his juice. He takes a couple of
bites of toast and drinks the juice and makes a nasty face and tells us that
there’s something “very wrong” with the juice because the cup “smells funny.” All
grace and mercy drain away.
My
frustration is now at an all time high and my patience is at an all time low. I
look over at my usually laid back and stoic husband and I can see he is in the
same predicament as I am. We try the threatening thing again – “if you don’t
eat ‘real’ food now, you can’t have any treats later. You need ‘real’ food or
you won’t get better…” Cody starts squirming about in the chair, doing his
signature dramatic whimper and whine, making sure everyone in the room sees his
pained face – this poor maligned child who is treated so unfairly by his
horrible and mean parents. What he doesn’t realize is that we simply don’t care
what the other people think about us. We have reached a common goal together as
a parenting team – Get them to eat REAL food – and there is no backing down. We
give up and decide to head out to the Magic Kingdom
– because the magic there will “fix” our children and everything will be
better, right?
After
a morning full of riding rides (all of which we must assure Cody beforehand
don’t have drops, go fast, spin around or are loud or dark – which pretty much
leaves Storybook Lane and It’s a Small World). We head off to
ToonTown and enjoy the craziness of Roger Rabbit’s spinning something or other.
My vertigo, which has blessedly remained mostly dormant to this point due to
regular doses of Bonine, has only kicked in once on the docile Astro Orbiter the day before. Something
about the weird and looney buildings in ToonTown makes my head start to feel a
bit wavy inside but I can manage it as long as I don’t turn around too fast.
The boys tell us they are hungry (surprise) so Lee gets them the much begged
for mini hot dogs at Pluto’s Dog House. Another big surprise, they don’t eat
them. They’re in love with the color changing straws, though. And we have
another run to the bathroom…
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| Shaun, Lee and Cody in the Doghouse |
We
decide that we are doing great. We have several runs to the potty but still we
are not deterred from our fun (which we are all having)… There are no lines
again today – just like yesterday and we are thinking that this Disneyland thing is pretty dang cool. We do Pirates again and buy some cool pirate
gear for the boys –and make another run to the bathroom. Late in the afternoon,
we decide to go back to the hotel for a rest and come back after dinner for the
fireworks and shows. We take rests at the hotel (no one actually sleeps – they
mess around the hotel room with their new pirate swords mostly).
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| Pirate plunder! |
We
remember that one of the stops for our trolley is right by an IHOP on the way
to the park. Our kids love IHOP! Maybe they’ll eat ‘real’ food! Then we can be
done with this runny poops thing and get back to having fun! So we take the
trolley to IHOP and settle in for a yummy dinner. Shaun tells us he is very,
very, very tired and he lays down on the booth (there is no one in the
restaurant at all) and falls asleep on Lee’s leg. Cody begins to do the whine
and whimper, too, and when our food arrives, neither is interested in eating.
(Thankfully, kids eat free there.) So we begin our doomed bargaining dance and Shaun eats three bites and goes back to sleep. Cody begins to dance about in his seat
and tells us he has to go potty RIGHT NOW. Lee takes him and Shaun soon follows
suit. Not too much later I get a text message on my cell phone from my husband
who is trapped in the bathroom saying “I need wipes and new underwear.” This is
Underwear Casualty Number 1. I am seething (again, completely irrationally) and
I take the wipes and underwear to the men’s room – Shaun informs me that Cody
has “blown out” his underwear (that Daddy just threw them away), his jeans are
dirty and the bathroom stall is a mess. Lee cleans him up and I pay the check
and as I wait for my menfolk, I see my dreams of Disneyland
magic slipping away like pixie dust…
We
leave IHOP and realize that there is no trolley stop on the way BACK to the
hotel – and we never think to ride the trolley from our stop through Disneyland and back to the hotel. We begin our (what we
think is short) trek to the hotel, holding our boy’s hands telling them after
each block “it’s just a little further.” (It was actually about a mile, we later discovered.) We FINALLY get back to the hotel and
after showers, the boys pass out in bed. I crawl into bed and pass out at 8:30pm– Lee stays awake and watches the fireworks show from the hotel room window as
we all sleep away.
Day
Three
It
is still dark but our family is moaning about again… Shaun is in the bathroom
trying to deal with Underwear Casualty Number 2. He does a valiant job of
cleaning up on his own and gets a hand from Daddy (Mommy is in her coma again).
Another dose of Pepto and everyone goes back to sleep. We get up, get ready and
have the same experience at breakfast that we had the day before, though this
time Lee and I are better about the frustration… We’re starting to think that
there is something seriously wrong with our kids. (Not so serious that we can’t
keep going to the parks, though. We paid too much. Right?)
We
head over to California Adventure and while we’re in line to get in there, Cody
notices that the pavement there has these brightly colored glass stones in it.
I watch him intently as he bends down and tries desperately to pick up a red
one. He works and works at it and starts to get really frustrated. He can’t get
it out. Shaun sees his predicament and comes to help. They work on this for a
while before they finally look at us and say “Hey, there are jewels stuck in
here!” Lee and I laugh and the people around us either think we’re cute or nuts.
Maybe both. We don’t care. We hit the bathrooms as soon as we enter the park
and then head off to check stuff out. We hit Turtle Talk with Crush and the Sorcerer’s
Workshop… Waaayyy cool – we are all hit with the magic and have a ball.
We
discover that there is a great thing about California Adventure. They have real
food for grown ups. We eat at the Winery
Trattoria and the kids get Mickey Mouse shaped PBJ’s and we have yummy
Italian food and WINE! EVERYONE is happy. The boys actually eat ‘real food’ and
there are smiles all around. The magic is working… We are all smiling together
for the first time in months.
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| Daddy and Cody |
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| Shaun and Mommy... oh yes... wine. :) |
We
head back over to Disneyland and discover that
we were REALLY spoiled our first two days. Now there are LINES for the rides.
LINES! We do some shopping and hit a couple of rides and decide to hit the
monorail because we’ve just had another emergency potty stop and the kids are
worn out. (Thankfully there are no underwear casualties out of that run). We ride
the monorail to Downtown Disney and browse the shops there and then head back
to the hotel for ‘real’ naps this time. EVERYONE sacks out for a bit and wakes
up a lot happier and feeling better.
We
head back to Disney so we don’t miss the fireworks or Fantasmic. We ride Pirates
(again – Shaun is in heaven, Cody is in hell) and then stake out our place for
the fireworks and show. We wind up each holding a kid on our shoulders for the
show (45 minutes) and when we put them down on their own feet for the
fireworks, they both collapse to the ground because their legs have gone to sleep.
We, of course, laugh at them and then remember that as parents we should be
helping them up. We do that and all four of us crack up laughing. Then the
fireworks start and we are all amazed. As usual, I am moved to tears by them
and the music and everything with them and at the end, I am overwhelmed by
emotion. As the crowds around us start to clear out and the Disney clean up
people come, I just sit on the stair holding Shaun on my lap and sob. He pats
me on the back and asks me why I am crying. I tell him I miss his sister so
much. He says “Me, too” and he gets teary eyed and just holds his crying mama.
The Disney people never knew their magic could backfire, I think.
We
head back to the hotel and pass out. Everyone sleeps through the night
(finally).
Day
Four
We
all get up and both boys actually eat a little breakfast. We pack up the Jeep
with all of our stuff, check out of the hotel and head over to the park again
for our last morning. There are pictures we need take and a couple more things
we have to do. I’ve promised Shaun I’ll ride Space Mountain with him and we have to get there right away so we
don’t have to wait in line forever.
We
hit Space Mountain just as it is
opening up and there’s already a line but it’s moving fast. I tell Shaun how I
remember riding Space Mountain with
my dad back when I was his age and it’s about the only thing I remember from Disneyland. I tell him how terrified I was and how much I
screamed and just wanted off. He thinks this is hilarious. He reassures me that
he is with me and that I’ll be scared but I’ll be okay, too. We get on and
scream a lot together and laugh hysterically and have a blast!
We
ride Buzz Lightyear again with Cody
and Lee and do some shopping. The kids hate it and rebel by crawling up into
the clothing racks and sitting silently where we can’t find them. (We handle
this like A+ parents, of course.) As Lee is paying, his debit card cracks in
half. It has worn out. Literally. We sigh and laugh – it’s the curse.
Thankfully, we still have my card.
As
we are walking along Main Street,
the kids see the Junior Chef thing where they can make Nestle Toll House
Chocolate Chip Cookies. The Disney gal invites them in and I have a stupid
parent moment and say “oh, not today” like you do to the survey people at the
mall but I quickly see the disappointment on my boys’ faces. My stupidity is
followed by a brilliant parent moment and I say “you know what? Yes… we would
love to make cookies!” I don’t quite get smiles out of the boys but they are
happier. They make cookies, they both smile some and at the end when they each
get two fresh cookies, they are both happy again and my “wonderful” parent
status is restored.
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| Jr. Chef Cody |
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| Jr. Chef Shaun (slightly less enthusiastic than his brother) |
Lee
takes the boys to Frontierland to do
some shootin’ while I wander about getting the last pictures I want of New Orleans’ Square and Adventureland and such… I wander through
my favorite places and just try to soak in the feel of them. I see little girls
in their princess dresses smiling through cotton candy goo and my heart stops
beating for a moment. I am momentarily rooted to the spot as I am flooded with
memories of my own little princess in her Snow White dress and cotton candy goo
smiles… I say a little prayer for her at that moment. I say another prayer for
me – and I make a wish in this magic place that someday I will see my little
princess again and maybe even hold her in my arms, just like these parents are
holding their little princesses… I want to tell them to hold on to every moment
but they quickly whisk by me, off to more adventures. I sigh and begin my trek
back to my menfolk.
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| Sharp shootin' Shaun |
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| Go Daddy! |
When
I get back to them, Lee tells me about how Woody came up and scared him half to
death by grabbing his shoulders from behind. The smile on his face matches the
ones on the boys’ faces now. We decide our Disney Adventure is over and head
back to the trolley pick up. As we walk by the now familiar landmarks, I can’t
help but be moved to tears by the magic of this place. Every bush is perfectly
trimmed, every “cast member” (staff member) is kind and helpful and treats you
like a real person, every bathroom is cleaner than any other public bathroom I
have ever seen in my life and there’s always something around every corner to
delight you. I realize we never did eat at the Blue Bayou but I am already
planning our next trip and vow that we will definitely eat there next time. And
we’ll ride Big Thunder Mountain and California Screaming and more… As we
exit the gates of Disneyland, I realize that I
feel like I am saying goodbye to an old friend that I know I will see again. I
laugh a little at myself and I love the fact that I am as much a kid there in
that magical place as my boys are.
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| Waiting for the trolley that never showed... |
Our
vacation is not over, however, which means that the curse is still valid. After
over an hour of no trolley, we finally seek shelter from the searing sun. We
discover that no one knows where our driver is, he has disappeared. Another
route driver takes us back to the hotel and we are off to a late start home. We
stop at KFC – we have more runny poops but luckily no more Underwear
Casualties. We, of course, hit some form of California rush hour leaving
Anaheim but we are still giddy from the Disney magic so we’re okay with it (and
three of us are sleeping so we don’t care all that much). We drive and drive –
the boys watch Pirates of the Caribbean
twice and the Incredibles, too. As we
hit our hometown, we discover the freeway’s closed. We laugh about it. The
curse is still in effect but the magic is still working… As we get closer to
home, I realize that we are about to re-enter ‘real’ life… life without our
princess. I’m incredibly sad but I am also ready to move on. I look over at Lee
and I see the same things on his face. The boys are sleeping and my heart
swells up inside with thankfulness that God has given them to me. Even with the
runny poops and Underwear Casualties during our magical family vacation to Disneyland.
Finally,
we drive up our street. We drive into the garage. We’re Home! But wait! Whose
house is this? The carpets have been cleaned, the floors have been mopped.
There is no dust – anywhere! The backyard is weeded and trimmed and beautiful! Little
notes of scripture and loving wishes pop out from every nook and cranny… (our
friends have gotten together to surprise us with a newly cleaned and freshened
house while we were gone…)
Apparently
the Disneyland magic beat us home and perhaps
our “happily ever after” has just begun…
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| yeah... mostly! :) |
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