Defining Moment

Smoke billowing. Papers fluttering in the air like ticker tape. People running, screaming. People jumping. Sirens. Bullhorns. Airplanes. Explosions.

Noise and chaos and then… silence.

A wintery white wasteland of shell shocked, ghostlike souls stumbling through unimaginable debris.

I watched it happen on TV. It wasn’t until 5 years later that I would walk those sidewalks and look upon that very skyline and hallowed ground, but the impact of the moment was profound, nonetheless. A wound made deeper as the news came in that the scene was repeated in Washington, D.C., and again in a field in Pennsylvania.

Tragedy. Unfathomable loss. Grief. Anger. Devastation. These words just never seemed to fully capture what we experienced, even thousands of miles away.

Ten years later and the scenes are repeated endlessly on the tv screen, interspersed with the narrative stories from those who were there, their voices now speaking for all of those who were silenced that day. I watch each scene after familiar scene unfold, still mesmerized by it all. It still just feels like it was yesterday.

My boys pause at the tv and ask me, “Is that 9/11?” and I do my best to answer their questions of “What happened? Did ALL of those people die? Where were you? Was Daddy at the airport? Can it happen again? Why did those people do that?” I can’t stop the tears from falling and for the most part, I don’t want to. I don’t want to cause them panic or anxiety but I do want them to understand the impact that it had on me, our family and friends and on our country. The impact this day had on the world at large. I want them to understand how it happened, why it happened, and who was involved. I don’t want them to grow up in this video game driven world and not realize that it was real people who died and who lost their moms and dads and sons and daughters and friends.  I also want my post 9-11 children to realize that although it scarred us more than we probably ever fully comprehend, it also changed many things for the better.

We remembered that life is fleeting and that people matter. We reached out to strangers and lent a hand. We got down on our knees and prayed for people we’d never met and would never know. We remembered how to look someone in the eye and smile as we passed by them on the street.

Our broken hearts began to beat again as we heard about the heroes – from the people who fought back on the plane to the firefighters who went back in to the burning buildings before they collapsed. The people who stopped to help those less able than they were. The service dog who wouldn’t leave his master in the crowded stairwell.

We realized that we’d begun to take our freedom for granted and forgotten that freedom, at its very core, is not free. Countless individuals stepped up to join the forces to defend our country and would die heroes themselves in the war on terror that ensued. Many others would scour resources to help families touched by the attacks and those impacted by the continued war afterward.

We were reminded that it was the little things that most often mattered most. The time it took to make a phone call to tell someone “I love you.”  The note left the night before someone left for work or to catch a plane. These became the last tangible memories of some of our loved ones.

We were humbled  but not humiliated. We were taken to task for the times that we got carried away by our own grief and bloodthirsty need for justice. We learned that just because someone dresses a certain way or worships a certain god, it doesn’t always mean that they are out to get us. Many of us began to realize that we needed to confront some deeply ingrained assumptions about “different” people, because it was that same kind of thinking that drove the events of that day that shocked our nation to a temporary standstill.

We realized that each and every one of us – military personnel, first responders, teachers, accountants, doctors, secretaries, pastors, moms, dads, brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, etc… every everyday ordinary person – has the power to make a difference. We were inspired by ordinary individuals who boarded a plane one day as strangers and who chose to act together and sacrifice themselves to save countless others in an incredibly rare and powerful act of selfless courage.

That inspiration has moved some of us to stop and help at a traffic accident or to travel to distant cities to help rebuild after natural disasters. Others have offered to babysit the neighbor’s kids while their parents work multiple jobs to provide whatever they can in a bludgeoned economy. Still others have changed careers completely or put themselves in the line of fire day after day after day, for the cause of freedom and the humane treatment of people in foreign lands.  Many have stood up for the stranger or neighbor next to them who is being harassed, mistreated or misunderstood.

It was – and still is – a horrible day, a devastating loss and a national tragedy. That is undeniable and should never be dismissed or forgotten.

It is also our defining moment.

Never forget.